The end of a semester

The last day of classes was last Friday. I still have exams and grading to do next week, but the semester is effectively at an end.

I started teaching full-time in 1983. I have been teaching now for 24 years - that seems like forever. Recently, when I look at letters of reference that I have received over the years - like the one below - it brings tears to my eyes.

...Although the overall pedagogical goal, improving students’ abilities to communicate in spoken English was clear enough, the teachers were given a great deal of independence regarding methods and means. For some teachers, this was a frustration, but for Mark, it was clearly a challenge he welcomed. Not only did he develop a wide range of innovative, creative, and student-responsive teaching strategies; he also put a great deal of energy into preparing new teaching materials for his classes. Most impressive, though, was the willingness with which Mark shared those materials with other teachers. Because Mark was so consistently generous in sharing the fruits of his own creativity and labor his contribution to the program went far beyond what he was doing in his own classroom.

Moreover, his cooperative, team-spirited attitude extended beyond his relations with his fellow English teachers to include the Korean staff, both administrative and academic, with whom he worked. In my long career in Korean universities, I’ve noticed all too many problems between native-speaking English teachers and their Korean co-workers, problems stemming from misunderstanding, cultural insensitivity, and at times even arrogance. Mark maintained consistently excellent relations with his Korean co-workers. He put real thought and energy into those relationships, and approached them with patience, tact, and cultural openness.

Indeed, it is in the attentiveness and sensitivity of his interpersonal relationships that Mark really excelled, and this was the key to his success in the classroom. Because we often organized communications activities that combined both of our classes, I had many opportunities to observe Mark’s classroom style and the way he related to his students. By far the most outstanding qualities were patience and respect. Even with students whose English communicative skills were at the lowest level, he never appeared frustrated or short-tempered. He managed to maintain a supportive, encouraging manner in situations where most teachers lose patience. Mark conveyed to his students that he respected them both as learners and as human beings, that despite differences in culture and limitations in communicative power, he was interested in what they had to say and valued their individuality. Indeed, regarding differences of culture, Mark’s attitude clearly went beyond just respect: he had a genuine curiosity about the things that make Koreans distinct, encouraging his students to articulate varied aspects of their Koreanness. Walking into one of Mark’s classes, I could immediately sense the atmosphere of mutual respect and trust. His students obviously acknowledged and respected his authority, but felt relaxed and confident, knowing that they could rely on his patience and encouragement.

You may ask why it bring tears to my eyes. Well, I have trudged through this past four months grudgingly and with no joy. This has been to the detriment of my students.

I think that teachers really can make a difference. Teachers can be trained to do their jobs better, but, in the end, the teacher needs to provide a pleasant happy and supportive atmosphere, and that is a personality thing. It does make a difference. I fear that I have been crabby and short-tempered this semester. My classroom energy level has been low.

I think that a big part of my problem is that I have no one to talk about my daily life with and I can be my own worst enemy at times. It would do me good to complain out loud because it would make me realize what an ass I'm being. Most of the things I complain about are pretty trivial.

The semester started badly because the university changed the class schedules. For the past two and a half years, I had three 50-minute classes with most of my students (Mon, Wed, Fri) and two 75-minute classes with a few other classes (Tues, Thurs). I never liked the longer classes on Tues and Thurs because you really need to do at least two activities. In the middle of the class, you have to bring one activity to an end, review what was done, and deal with any problems; then you needed to introduce a new activity, run it, and debrief it. As well, if there is a holiday in there, you often see the students only once a week. Because developing language skill requires a lot of regular practice, I haven't felt that this schedule was good for the students. So, what happened? The university changed all of the classes to twice-weekly 75-minute classes - the classes length that I didn't like. Why did the university change to this schedule - one that most of my students don't like? I suspect that the push came from the tenured professors who teach 9 hours per week. With the new schedule, many of the professors only need to teach 2 days a week.

At any rate, I should have been able to deal with this better. I let it bother me a lot more than it should have.

As a result of the new schedule, we were told that all of the English language teachers, who teach 15 hours per week, would teach only 4 days per week. Then, because of scheduling difficulties, I was asked to teach 5 days a week. This was not a real problem since I probably would have gone in to the office 5 days a week anyway. But, I was told that all of my classes would be morning classes (which I prefer). Then I was asked to change my schedule and take some afternoon classes. My schedule stretched out for two days a week. Again, I said that this was okay, but the reality was that it bothered me that my Korean colleagues, who have had really nice scheduled since long before I started working there, continued to have 4-day schedules with the hours they wanted. So, I was a bit put out. It just felt as though I was being asked to make more sacrifices than anyone else. Now the reality is that I only teach 15 hours per week. Three days a week, I am finished teaching by noon. I still get long paid vacations in the summer and winter (5 months if I want it).

I really need a slap on the head sometimes. I have a pretty easy job.

For some reason (although I suspect that it was my fault), I've had worse attendance and lateness problems than I've ever had. I suspect that the students just haven't wanted to come to class. I have been so far behind in my grading all semester that the students haven't really gotten the feedback that they needed to help them improve.

With my colleagues, I've become less willing to compromise. I'm kind of whiny. I say things in meetings that are far less diplomatic than they should be.

So, when I look at what I was like and see that I'm not like that now, I feel a great sadness at how far I seem to have fallen. I used to love teaching. I used to love learning. I used to love working with my colleagues. Now, I just feel tired.

Summer session begins on the 25th. I really want to do better.

Everything in my life is, of course, related. And, my life outside of school affects my work. I'm not really able to compartmentalize. I haven't been blogging much lately. You might ask why. I've kind of withdrawn from everything. My "sidewalk rage" has grown to the point that I often don't go out. I spend my time at work, at the gym, and at home. Since I don't seem to be doing anything interesting, I don't have much to blog about, and I don't always want to be picking on the negative stuff in Korea.

Korea has a lot of good stuff. I still like the food. The pottery is amazing. I drink a lot of green tea, which I think it the best in the world. Outside of the city, it is peaceful and relaxing. However, the constant self-aggrandizement that is so much a part of life in Korea is so irritating that I don't enjoy what I should. The other day, I was watching a Korean saxophone player on television, and I found myself thinking - his playing and style are just a rip-off of some western saxophonist. Then I realized that he was actually pretty darn good. My first reaction always seems to be to negative.

Then, just when it didn't seem that it could get any worse, I went to the hospital to get my cholesterol checked. I've been on a statin for years to keep my cholesterol down. It was nice to hear that my cholesterol levels were good. However, I don't like to hear the doctor say, "However..." I was told that I didn't really need to worry but I was pre-diabetic. What!!! How can they say the words "diabetes" in the same sentence as my name and then say I don't need to worry too much. My blood sugar level is 116 mg/dL. A range or 100-125 is considered pre-diabetes. Now I'm supposed to lose weight and exercise more - based on a BMI calculation. I have always been considered overweight using the BMI. When I was working out a lot, my BMI had me in the obese range although, at 185 cm and 95 kg, I'm only overweight now. I already go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week.

If you have the stomach for it, you can look at this picture that I took this morning. While I would like to get my weight down from 95 kg to 90 kg. That may not be realistic. If I go to the gym more, I get stronger and start lifting heavier weights, so I lose fat but gain muscle. At 53 years old, I think I'm fairly fit. I don't really think that I'm overweight. If you look really closely, you can see the hint of a six-pack. I probably could have been a body double for some of the actors in the film "300".

At any rate, I'll try to watch my diet a bit more, although I haven't cooked meat at home in years. I've cut way back on the alcohol. I've even stopped going to the 3 Alley Pub once a week for a cheese burger and a tall glass of Eirdinger.

Sometimes I think ignorance may be bliss. Although I acknowledge that knowing about the pre-diabetes now gives me a chance to control it without drugs, I'm now more worried than I was. Just once I would like to go to the doctor and be told that everything is fine.